The reason I like Jen and spend so much time with her is because (1) she threatens me with bodily harm and (2) she is the only person I know of who smells even more strongly of animals than I almost always do. I like that.

I constantly smell like dogs. It’s why I’m so popular with dogs: they sniff me forever and figure out which of their canine comrades I’ve been hanging out with. Devotees will remember that I occasionally volunteer at the Humane Society shelter near me and amuse myself by training the dogs (usually pit bulls or the big hound/cattle breeds, because most people don’t want to spend much time with them) and teaching them how to do ridiculous tricks, like shaking hands.

Me and my buddy Roscoe, a British Cream Golden Retriever and cattle dog mix. Taken about 3-4 years ago.

Jen constantly smells like horses. This is because she owns a horse. And three cats. And has a hedgehog running around in an old sweatshirt somewhere. REGARDLESS. She smells of horses constantly, as does her car. I know better than to complain; after all, I like horse-smell. It’s earthy and familiar and comforting.

So we were hanging out once and I got into Jen’s car, which, of course, reeked of her Thoroughbred, Snookers, and promptly noticed some gorgeous royal blue suede pumps. (Jen’s car is always a sty. It sounds like it would be gross, but it’s kind of adorable instead.) Immediately, we launched into a detailed discussion about these shoes. It turns out, Jen wears them to court sometimes when she wears her grey suit. This is an excellent idea: grey makes royal blue POP. Everyone write that down. There will be a test later. It will not be curved. Okay, fine, it will be curved.

Anyway, that got me thinking about colorful shoes, and how much I love them.

It also got me thinking about money, and how much I love not spending a lot of it.

So I put those two things together and got this collection of colorful pumps under $50. I had a devil of a time weeding out the Matrons’ Wedding Shoes among the batch (you guys know what I’m talking about), and I tried to keep the heel reasonable. I know that I, for one, would never walk into a courtroom in four inch heels, no matter how much I might need it, with my diminutive 5’1″ frame. I just personally think 4″ heels are too much (you are perfectly free not to agree – it’s a personal bias), but more importantly, I know I’d teeter around on them and look like a child playing dress up. Considering that I was once again mistaken for a seventeen-year-old just last week, I absolutely do NOT need to resemble a child in any sense.

So let’s get started. As always, click to purchase.

$26.99

The color is just arresting, isn’t it? How fabulous would these look with, say, a grey skirt suit?

$39.94

Now that’s a bright, eye-catching turquoise! And turquoise is one of those few colors – like nude or olive green – that looks great with just about any other color. It’s not quite as versatile as olive green, I’d argue, but it’s up there. You can mix and match a lot of colors with turquoise.

$39.94

This is the same shoe as above, but in a different color. The heel on these two is 4″, so use your best judgment. Can you walk effortlessly in heels that high? If so, (1) hey, screw you, and (2) teach me.

$38.27

Now isn’t that just a crazy color? I like it, though. I realize not all of you guys can pull off a bright orange or yellow, for example. But most of us WOC can, and I can tell you right now, with my skin tone, I’d rock this shoe to hell and back. I’d love to wear it with, like, a really cool oatmeal colored skirt suit, as opposed to a warmer, yellower oatmeal. Just a nice, cool oatmeal.

$44.99

Come on, I had to throw in pink. Just because. Everyone assumes that with my prickly, hoydenish personality, I’d hate pink, but it’s not true. I don’t mind pink at all. Depending on the shade of pink, and how warm/cool it is, pink looks amazing on me.

$44.99

Another turquoise, but this one is deeper, darker, cooler. The one earlier on was a lot brighter and warmer. This is also suede, and I’m kind of crazy about it. Think of how awesome that would look with, say, grey. Just a brilliant, unexpected pop of color that would really make that suit.

$31.60

What a darling, cherry red. It makes me think of candy apples. I’ve never had a candy apple – I much prefer caramel apples. But that’s not saying much; you could dip roadkill in caramel, and I would still probably eat it.

…I love this blog. I love how none of us gives a sh-t anymore, and I can talk about eating roadkill while I discuss pretty shoes. I love that we’ve come to this place in our relationship, you guys. It’s like we’re that formerly smitten young couple that is now old and spotty and we putter around our dilapidated house in tattered robes, snarking at each other about which side of the tin foil is “the right side.”

<3

It’s special, what we have.

Anyway, come on, I had to include red shoes. No, I don’t care that hardly any of you will seriously consider buying bright red shoes for work. (ALL OF YOU SHOULD BUY RED SHOES. LET’S START A REVOLUTION. THEY CAN’T IMPRISON ALL OF US. Well, with the provisions in the CCA’s contracts for operation of federal prisons, stating that the CCA will operate the prisons if a 90% occupancy rate can be guaranteed, yeah, they actually *can* imprison us all, but don’t let that stop you from buying red shoes for the office. We’re making a point here, you guys.)

I forget what I was talking about. Now I’m just angry about prisons.

$19.94

OK, frankly, I just thought these were kind of cool. I’m not certain how I feel about that little leather strip with the bow – I feel like I’d have to see it on my foot. But I still think it’s kind of cool, even though I’m reserving judgment as to whether or not it’s something I’d wear. Generally, when I post things on this site, I’m posting things that I myself would wear.

Unless I’m just straight trying to mess with you guys because you have angered me greatly. Which, I mean, be honest, you know you sometimes do that.

$34.95

Really, there seems to be an abundance of turquoise shoes. (These also come in bright red.) This reminds me of that awesome scene in “The Devil Wears Prada,” starring Meryl Streep (did you know that the only reason she didn’t become a lawyer instead of an actress was because she slept in on the morning of her law school admission interview? THANK YOU LORD ALMIGHTY) and Anne Hathaway. You know the one – Meryl Streep’s character just totally rips Anne Hathaway a new one for daring to think that discussing the color of belts is stupid.

Ah, wait, it turns out that the article of clothing was a sweater, and it wasn’t turquoise but cerulean. The Cerulean Sweater scene, actually. (Click it.)

Now that we’ve talked about shoes, and cerulean sweaters, I think it’s time to wrap for the day. Go, go look at colorful shoes. Don’t be afraid to incorporate them into your work outfits, even those of you who do fancy things like speak at seminars and go to court and hold meetings, and have all eyes on you and your outfit.

And if anyone throws shade about your shoes, just give them the Meryl Streep eyebrow and be like, BITCH DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THOUGHT WENT INTO THESE ________ COLOR SHOES WHY ARE YOU TERRIBLE AT LIFE.

Always face criticism with yelling and the Meryl Streep eyebrow. That’s what I always say.

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Via: Disability Lawyer

:D

Thank goodness!

I don’t mean any offense to second-time takers, nor do I mean to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I’m SO glad I passed on my first try. I was so convinced I’d failed it, that a day after the exam I was mentally composing the inevitable email I’d have to send to curious, (generally) well-meaning friends and family about how I didn’t pass and would have to be back in July.

BUT NO.

The universe smiled on me and I PASSED THE ILLINOIS BAR EXAM AND THEN I ATE PIE.

Seriously. I just lay down and was like IS THIS THE REAL LIFE IS THIS JUST FANTASY CAUGHT IN A LANDSLIDE NO ESCAPE FROM REALITY.

It was such a surprise and made me so happy.

<3

And I get sworn in on the 10th of May. Sweet.

I mean, I still have to get a real job, but whatever, it’ll be fine. I might even get waived into the DC bar and move to Maryland. Worse come to worst, I can be a psycho lobbyist and basically sell my soul to the devil. FUN TIMES!

But yes. I’m very happy.

Plus, you know when I get a real job with an office, Imma be like:

YOU KNOW IT.

Thank you, Universe. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Yeezus.

And just today, I got my BzzAgent Garnier Fructis kit, consisting of shampoo and conditioner for frizzy hair. I’m South Asian, with a mass of tight curls and waves. Seriously, my hair seems to have a mind of its own and can’t decide if it wants to be fully curly or just wavy. It’s also really frizzy if I don’t tame it, and we’ll see how these products affect it.

I’ve always had a good opinion of the Garnier brand. I love their conditioners, and I especially love the way their products smell. So I’ll definitely be trying out these products soon, and will post an update with my experience.

How do you feel about the Garnier brand? Have you tried these new products? I’d love to hear about it!

Anyway, enough talk about me snuggling with furry animals. (Seriously, my folks always look like they want to vomit and then dump me in a tub full of Lysol. They are NOT animal people. I feel like if you gave them a kitten, they’d stare at it and then promptly leave the room, hoping to God that it would have vanished into thin air by the time they dared to return. Meanwhile, if you give ME a kitten, hah, good luck ever getting it back. I would probably fight you.)

Today, I found yet another skirt I really liked, and I built an outfit around it. I’ll be honest, this post was originally supposed to be inspired by one of Megan Fox’s outfits. Megan and I are on speaking terms these days, because she has hired herself new people and has abstained from saying anything offensive or butt-paralyzingly stupid in the past year or so, so we’re cool.

But then I found a skirt that I really liked, and it looked nothing like Megan’s, and then I got distracted and wandered off, and this outfit is what happened.

Take a look.

Colorblock Pencil Skirt ………. $29.99
Pintuck Linen Shirt ………. $26.99
Sam & Libby Peep Toe Pumps ………. $24.99
Croatian Coral Orange Glass Bead Earrings ………. $14
or
Vintage Tangerine Orange and White Mosaic Earrings ………. $18

I love this skirt. I just love it. The colors are great and I love the pattern and I’m a big, big fan of pencil skirts. It’s perfectly work appropriate in every way.

You guys know by now that when I find a great skirt that I really want to make stand out, I immediately grab a white shirt. Predictably, I picked this white, three-quarter sleeved linen shirt from Kohl’s at a totally decent price. It’s got cute little buttons and sleeves with pintuck accents, and it fits the bill nicely.

I didn’t rock the boats or reinvent the wheel, instead opting for black peep toes. They’re only available in size 8.5, so I’d offer these normal black pumps if that’s not your size, and they still fit within our limited budget.

And I found that I just couldn’t quite help myself when it came to the jewelry. I figured I’d go with earrings (and probably toss on a watch or a bronze bracelet before I ran out the door), and I wanted them to be orange to play up that warm, fun color.

I couldn’t decide between these two beautiful pairs I found on Etsy, and since they both fit within the $100 budget I set for each of these outfits, I decided to show you both.

I love the Croatian coral and glass bead earrings. They’re from Maja’s Earrings, and I love all of her stuff. Please check out her store and her great offerings. (And no, I’m not being compensated in any way for the plug.)

I also adored the mosaic earrings – how pretty and delicate and feminine. They’re from SilverLiningDecor, and the shop is just jam-packed with awesome jewelry, so do have a look. (Again, I’m not being compensated for these Etsy plugs.)

So take your pick (and act fast for the Etsy earrings!), and you’ll have a lovely, work-appropriate outfit featuring another gorgeous skirt. In fact, I might do pretty skirt-based ensembles all week to help you add some cute things to your wardrobe. Why not? Skirts rock.

(And if you do end up buying anything from either of those shops, it would be really sweet if, in the Note To Seller textbox, you mentioned that you found the store from my blog, with the URL.)

Today, I found that I just couldn’t resist this adorable skirt. I could go on about it, but I’m also a fan of ‘show, don’t tell,’ so … just take a look:

I Dove This Skirt ………. $39.99
Meaghan Ruffled Flats in Cranberry ………. $24.99
V-Neck Tee in Bright White ………. $9.98
Crystal Stud Earrings ………. $20

I love the seafoam and magenta combination. The skirt is bold and bright and funky and a little unexpected, and it’s just so youthful and pretty. I paired it with a white tee, because I often like to pair pretty skirts with neutral tops to really let the skirt stand out. The top is only $10, a great price for a staple like a v-neck tee, and there are plenty of colors available, so if you find you have a need for tees in various colors you might consider stocking up now with these.

I added a pair of ruffled flats. I’m not wild about ruffles on shoes, I have to be honest, but I don’t hate them, either. (Unless they’re huge and unwieldy-looking, which these are not.) What I mostly loved was the color. What a great, rich color, and it matches with the skirt. (Not perfectly, but close enough.)

Finally, I wanted to toss in some jewelry. Usually, my budget doesn’t leave me with much to spend on baubles, so I often just skip that entirely and trust that most of you have suitable pieces of your own and can add them on your own as well, without me dictating every little thing. Today, though, I wanted to add some jewelry, so I made sure the budget accommodated that. I wanted to play with the magenta color, so I picked these stud earrings from Bloomingdale’s.

I would have loved to go with something cute and dangly, but since these are business casual outfits, I generally try to stay away from dangly earrings. They’re all but forbidden in more serious corporate settings, and while they’re certainly allowed in plenty of offices, I err on the side of caution and generally exclude them. But seriously, how cute would dangly earrings look, especially when framing a swept up, bouncy ponytail?

Still, the decision is yours. I picked these stud earrings because they matched, fit my budget, and would be office appropriate even in slightly more conservative workplaces.

And there we have a fun, youthful outfit featuring a bright, happy skirt that I just couldn’t resist!

As most of you know, I took a hiatus in January or something as I prepared to take the IL Bar exam for the first time. Welp, I took the IL Bar exam, and I hope it was my last time. (I have a bad feeling, though, I gotta be honest.)

I stayed at the Chicago Hilton on Michigan Ave, just a couple blocks from my old law school. The hotel was GORGEOUS, but my room was eh. Also, no free wi-fi in my room. I was like, WHAT. If I’m paying a frigging arm and a leg to stay here (I wasn’t – I was using the points on my AMEX which covered the whole stay), I want to be able to use my laptop and connect wirelessly IN MY OWN ROOM IN MY NIGHTGOWN WITH MY HAIR IN A MESSY KNOT instead of in the hotel bar, wearing pants.

:|

Sadly, that was not possible.

But whatever. The hotel was gorgeous. Did you know they filmed “E.R.” there? Because they totally did.

Anyway, my dad picked me up after the exam was over, and I slept for the entire hour-long ride home. I walked into the house, barely managed to say hello to the fambly, and then somehow dragged myself up to my bedroom like a freaking wounded animal and slept for like three hours.

I woke up, prayed Isha, vegged in front of the TV until Fajr (my sleep schedule was still just so messed up), and then slept until Zuhr, and then my sleep schedule righted itself.

I was totally fine, like, a day after the Bar. I was fine. Two days later or whatever, I was out at the CAIR-Chicago banquet (I would sell all of you for a chance to work there, don’t even kid yourselves) and I was totally fit to be around people. Well. No less fit than I normally am, let’s just put it that way.

But then … I don’t know what happened. One night I’m meeting a Twitter friend in the city for dinner, two nights later, she’s hospitalized for pneumonia, and the next day I’m burning up.

I apparently caught the upper respiratory infection from Hell (not pneumonia, thankfully!) and had a fever between 100-103 for SEVEN DAYS STRAIGHT.

You know what? Remember that time I got swine flu? (Of course you do. You keep up with all the events in my life.) I’m going to go on the record and say that even having swine flu wasn’t as bad as this upper respiratory. I basically lived on the couch or in my bed for more than a week, straight. The couch in the family room didn’t just have an ass-groove; it had a body-groove.

:|

Tell me that’s not pathetic. I mean, ass-grooves are pathetic enough. Body-grooves suggest that the situation is out of control and professional help is probably needed.

But, thankfully, I’m better now. Not fully recovered, but almost there.

And that means my hiatus is over. So I’m back with my normal fashion posts, and posting on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest will resume. Nowadays, I’m just going to be posting here, working on a (free, fashion-related) ebook, polishing up a proposal to amend the Prison Rape Elimination Act of 2000 (I care a lot about prison reform), job-hunting, and basically plotting to occupy the CAIR Chicago offices until Ahmed Rehab takes pity on me and hires me.

STAY TUNED.

Speaking of crazy, though, I’m trying something new today. Y’all know that I belong to every sample sale site on the planet. I even belong to a couple sample sale sites that don’t even exist yet. I do this all for you guys. I’m not much of a shopper (except for gadgets, and except when I’m stressed), and I never really buy much for myself, but I keep an eye on the deals so that I can share them with you. Unless, you know, something good’s on TV. Then you guys can SUCK IT.

:|

Anyway, you guys know I love the daily deal sites, because they’re fun. They have new things up every day, and there’s the element of surprise, and there are often bright colors and things that flash, and it really keeps my attention, like most of the shows on PBS.

Today’s daily deal is actually … a dress.

I KNOW.

That’s weird, isn’t it? Like, you’d think a daily deal would be a watch or a thing of jewelry (earrings? necklace?) or even a pair of shoes would maybe be okay, but an actual dress?

I had to share it with you anyway. Just because. In the spirit of this blog, dontchaknow. I’ve ordered things from NoMoreRack, the sample site in question, before. I have no complaints. I ordered 2 Marc Jacobs cotton scarves, and the other day I ordered 2 Perry Ellis silk scarves. The PE haven’t arrived yet, but the MJ arrived within a week and were just as described. So I have no complaints thus far.

For that reason, I figured it couldn’t hurt to share this one. This is a Corey P dress for Madison Paige, marked down from $70 to $24. I’ve gotten emails from a bunch of you talking, amidst other things, about how you’d like to have a couple of work dresses that didn’t cost so dang much, without having to wait for sales at the Limited.

So I figured this would be helpful. It’s black and grey, totally a work dress, and if you throw on a bright cardigan, a pair of bold shoes (or black, whatever), and/or a piece of statement jewelry in a bright color (hint: you might not want to do a bright cardigan, shoes, AND jewelry – surely I’ve taught and shown you better), and you’ve got an outfit.

As always, click the image for the purchase info.

Also, you have to join NoMoreRack in order to buy, and if you decide to do that, if you could use THIS REFERRAL LINK, that would be pretty cool of you. :D (Spoiler alert: That would be MY referral link. I think I get a gift card or some crap if enough people use it. Spoiler alert: I DON’T CARE WHAT RANDOM FREEBIE I GET I WANT IT. And if it turns out to be something stupid I’ll just give it to Andy anyway, so whatever.)

$24

It’s probably a little too late to buy this and have it arrive for Christmas, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t gift it a little later, or save it for a special occasion.

This scarf is screen-printed with text from Pride & Prejudice, A Tale of Two Cities, and a prayer from Ephesians. It’s a polyester blend, so, bleh, but still, it’s lovely and is available on Etsy for just $39. Unfortunately, at this time, the author cannot do custom orders.

Click here or on the picture to get on over there!

Wrap Up With A Good Book Scarf - $39

I’m always on the look out for cute, creative, unique things that will set you apart and still be appropriate for work, and this scarf totally makes that list. I’d pair it with pants/jeans, a brightly colored tee, and a brightly colored cardigan (not matching, just colors that go well together and don’t clash). I wouldn’t pick anything with print (although I can’t say I’d never pick anything with print – I have a thickly striped tee that would look just fine with this) or floral designs. And I’d loop this around my neck and not be offended when strangers leaned into my personal space to figure out just what was written on the scarf.

Observe, mortals.

These are the new limited edition sarees from Hermes.

:|

Yeah, no.

These are not sarees. These are abominations.

(And yes, this is filed under OMGah That Dress in a very bad sense of OMGah.)