Stop Asking Where I'm From

My mom would flip if she saw this.

Written By: humarashid - Mar• 20•13

So our paralegal and I have a big shared office, and she’s super organized and her desk is always perfect and she can reach anything at a moment’s notice. Meanwhile, my desk…

Photo Mar 19, 10 54 20 AM (1)



Ha. Ha ha. Hahahahaha crap.

I wish I could say that this was an anomaly. That today it just HAPPENED to look tragic. But no. It’s looked this way for months. Sure, the papers and other nonsense were different, because I work on a shit-ton of different cases, but it’s pretty much always looked like this.


I’m actually doing better now, though. Before, I had stickies EVERYWHERE. And plenty of them attached to my monitor. It was pretty nuts. So I did manage to whittle those down to just the few you see on my monitor, on the desk shelves, and strewn about the desk itself.

Then we have my permanent fixtures – the green coffee tumbler that I always have filled to the brim with green tea. Thank goodness for those water coolers with the option for boiling water. Plus, my boss keeps honey for me at the office, so I’m basically set. I never go anywhere without that green tumbler of green tea.

And my prayer rug and hijab are up top, where they always are, so I can quickly duck into the conference room or my boss’s office to pray Zuhr or Asr. And I’ve got my different books of the criminal and traffic code, which come in handy all the time, and then of course there is my beloved talking Yoda that Brian Tannebaum gave me when I graduated from law school. He sent a super schmaltzy note along with it because he’s a sweetheart (DON’T TELL ANYONE IT’S A SUPER SEKRIT) but I can’t share that because he has a reputation to maintain, you guys.

I’ve got a couple files I’m supposed to close sitting on my desk, because we wiped those out recently, so yay for us. And that huge-ass stack is part of our paperwork from the case that we’re trying in federal court over the summer. I’m basically buried up to my eyeballs in it, hence why the file is living on my desk and possibly picking out new curtains, based on how long it’s been there.

Not that I mind. It’s an awesome (awful) case, and I could probably recite every single page of the FBI reports and indictment from memory (all 500 pages, if not more). Right now my big project is to tear apart the transcript from the first change of plea hearing, and write a huge constitutional motion in limine about that, so that’s pretty fun. It’s definitely a first, since I’ve never had to argue for the inclusion or exclusion of the contents of a change of plea hearing transcript at trial, since … well … the whole purpose of a change of plea hearing, with all its Fifth Amendment admonishments in place, is to avoid going to trial. So I have no idea where the case law stands (yet) and that’s what I’m working on.

You know what I should really be working on, though?

Cleaning my damn desk.


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