Yikes, but I’ve been gone a while, huh? I don’t know, sometimes it’s just hard to work up the motivation to post. Back in law school, this was what I did to relieve some stress and work out my creative muscles, which were at risk of severe atrophy. (It turns out you cannot include sarcastic quips in legal briefs, nor can you use emoticons or creative Interwebz-isms like “you guise.” I consider this the chief flaw in our legal system and am alarmed at what this means for America’s future.) Nowadays, though, I have other creative pursuits to, um, pursue. As you can see, from my repetition of the word pursue in its different forms, my writing has suffered. Well. My blog writing.
But I’m back today with an outfit for fall. Is anyone else bummed about the drop in temperatures? Normally I look forward to fall, since it’s basically my favorite season, but this year, I don’t know, I’m not feeling it. My toes are basically ALWAYS cold, even on 100+F days in summer, and they seem extra cold these days. So, I don’t know, I’m kind of wary of the way the temperature has been dropping. No one’s toes should be this cold all the time, guys.
Regardless, fall is settling in despite what my toes have to say on the matter, so I figured I’d might as well stop resisting and start dragging my clothes out of various 18gallon storage containers stacked in the basement. Naturally, this is a whole to-do, as I do not have much space in my closet left, as prime real estate there has long since been usurped by the 18 different blankets I keep on hand just in case my toes get even COLDER at night and I am forced to layer up even more. I wish I were kidding. I am not. There are like 18 blankets and comforters stacked up on the floor of my closet. Even in the summer, I slept under a (thin) comforter.
My toes are cold, guys. I’m starting to think this is not as normal as I had hoped it was.
For some reason, I felt compelled to do something today involving leopard print. This could be because leopard print scarves are just a fun accessory and most of us have one lying around somewhere that we grab when we’re in the mood. It could also be because I had a dream last night in which I killed a leopard with a spear and skinned it, Mowgli-on-Shere-Khan style. The way Kipling wrote that scene has haunted my dreams since I first read it when I was ten. Literally! (Haunted my dreams, that is.)
…I’m starting to think *I* am not as normal as I had hoped.
Regardless. Leopard print scarves!
First, the pants. Simple enough. Grab a pair of black dress pants. If you don’t already own a pair or two or half dozen, you can snag this (tummy control?) pair from Macy’s, on sale for under $30. This is why I love Macy’s: they ALWAYS have a sale going on, and that’s awesome. Who doesn’t like saving money? Especially on things that are working wardrobe staples like black dress pants?
Second, the shoes. I’m sure we all have a pair of plain black leather flats. However, it’s rather difficult to find decent leather flats when you’re working with a $100/outfit budget like I do for these posts. To that end, I found these black flats at 6pm, for about $30. Not bad at all.
(Can we just talk for a second about how hard it is to buy decent flats? I went shopping last week – WHICH I HATE – and went from store to store finding flats that weren’t ugly and didn’t cost a ridiculous amount and weren’t hideously uncomfortable. I got so frustrated after two hours of wandering that mall – malls are awful – that I just spent my Shoe Money on cookies instead. Ugh.)
Anyway, I knew I was going to use a leopard print scarf, and let me tell you, there are plenty of options available if you’re looking for one. And they come quite cheap, too – I found a couple at stores like F21 and Charlotte Russe for, like $10. I liked this one from Express better, though. It’s marked down from $35 to just under $20, so, yay, I saved you some money again. You’re right, it IS awfully nice of me to do so! I’m basically the best person on the planet. I know, I know.
(Also, there are some butt-ugly-pug-fugly leopard print scarves out there, too. Beware and steer clear. I wouldn’t use those ones to line the bottom of a bird cage. On that topic, how neat are African grey parrots? Those little guys are unreal. If I didn’t hate birds so much, I’d be a fan. And for the record, my hatred of birds is fear-based. When I run for office in the future, I don’t want my weasel of a future opponent to use my position on our avian friends -frenemies, really- against me.)
I wanted a really bright, fun sweater to go with the scarf and the very neutral, toned down pants-and-shoe combo. Originally, I wanted a bright, slightly warm emerald color, but it’s hard to find precisely what you’re looking for every single time when you’re working with $100. I finally settled on this sweater from Target, and I love the color. Very pretty, and generally flattering, I think.
You guys have to take my ‘flattering’ remarks re: colors with a grain of salt. When I look at colors, I automatically judge whether or not they’re good on MY skin tone. And you can see my picture in the sidebar – most colors look good with my skin. (Thank you, thank you. It takes away some of the sting of living in a racist society and belonging to a shadeist culture. Not all of it, but a very small amount, so there’s that.)
So, if you are extremely pale, I’m sorry, but I’m not all that up on what colors will look good on you. I mean, I *generally* know what will look fine on you, but when it comes to certain shades like this one, I will have no clue. You are probably so pale that I cannot even conceive of your level of whiteness. This is frequently my problem with @BobBlahBlawg. He is just so … so pale. It’s alarming. Sometimes I have to wear sunglasses. Like, it’ll be an overcast day, and he’ll start whining about getting sunburned, and I’ll be standing there agog like, WHAT IS YOUR LIFE. I honestly cannot even conceive of his level of whiteness sometimes. If he wanted to wear a seafoam green sweater, for example, my mind would not be able to compute how that would look on him.
It’s a problem, and sometimes I fear it imperils our friendship and tears at the very fibers of the rich tapestry that is our eternal bond of not being able to stand each other.
I have completely forgotten what I was talking about.
Whatever. Here’s a picture of Mister Rogers and how much he doesn’t curr.