The Reasonably Prudent Law Student

You guys. I have no excuse for this. I was at Forever21 to stock up on basics (I bought like 5 t-shirts for $3.50 each – SCORE!) and to maybe find a brown belt (but all the S/P belts were way too big for me – even if I tried them on over a sweater AND my coat, the last hole was still too loose, which I admit was nice in one way because I like my tiny waist, but at that time was just nothing but frustrating) but everything was frustrating and I got upset. Which is what also happens to me when I shop.

Anyway, so I was going to leave but I saw a bin of nail polishes for like $2.80. One was a bright, happy, canary yellow. Why not, right?

So I grabbed it and bought it along with my tees, and I just tried it on.

OH MY GOD IT IS TURRIBLE.

I consider myself your run of the mill nail polish consumer. I don’t own shoeboxes upon shoeboxes of it like some of my makeup savvy friends. But I own more than 1 or 2 shades.

I buy high end and low-end, and generally go for colors and formulas that work well. I don’t care about gimmicks like high shine or quick dry – if I really want a high shine I will use a top coat, and if I’m painting my nails it’s safe to say I’ve made an experience of it and am doing it at a time when I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything else.

I love OPIs, and while I keep up with their collections, I never run out and snag bottles from the new one as soon as it comes out. I don’t find nail polish THAT exciting. I also buy drugstore brands, my favorite being Sally Hanson. It’s cheap enough, and there are TONS of different shades, and it’s always worked great.

Formula wise, I like thicker nail polishes. If I’m using a colored polish, as opposed to a more nude/sheer one that’s supposed to just enhance the color of my nails rather than change their color completely and noticeably, then I want a formula that is thick. I want two coats to completely cover any distinction between the white and pink parts of my nails.

(I’m not good with technical terms when it comes to fingernails – sorry. I know a lot of you won’t be able to take me seriously ever again after this, and I don’t blame you.)

:|

Anyway, I want a thick formula that does what it’s supposed to do in two coats. Two coats are perfect. Sometimes I’ll use three. I KNOW THIS IS ALL WILDLY FASCINATING AND LIFE CHANGING.

:|

You guys. Everything I do is life-changing. Please.

But Forever21′s nail polish formula (and I’m presuming it’s the same across the board – I highly doubt that fire engine red is somehow thicker than canary yellow, while jade green is even more watery) does not pass muster. It was way, way too watery.

One coat barely did anything. I had to apply about 4 coats (maybe 5? I lost count) for the two colors of my fingernails not to be distinguishable underneath. And, of course, when you put on that many coats, it sits way too thick on the nail, but any less and it would look like you barely had the presence of mind to put on a single coat, even though you actually already put on 3 at that point.

And, when it sits too thick on the nail, no matter how long you let it dry without doing anything that even remotely dings your nails, the slightest touch will put a dent in the polish. That’s just what happens. It’s SCIENCE.

:P

But yeah, I’ll try to be serious. Don’t waste your money on this polish. Find a better, thicker formula. I wonder if Sally Hansen has a canary yellow shade. I really want that color – it’s the it color this season, although that’s not why I want to try it. It’s just that yellow has always looked fabulous with my skintone.

Another color that looks fabulous with my skin? Bright pink, oddly enough. I streaked my damn-near-black-but-actually-darkest-brown hair pink around Halloween for my Nicki Minaj costume and I looked AWESOME.

I was very vigilant about there being no photos to document my first foray into another hair color, so, sorry.

You will never know how good pink hair looks on me.

:|

Doomed to ignorance. Oh, Bartleby! Oh, humanity!

:|

All my jokes are so lame and nerdy. I don’t know why you guys put up with me.