Ugh, she’s back. And part of me just died inside. Don’t worry, though. You know how I said before that just looking at her makes me feel stupider? This time I’ve armed myself with Illuminations by Walter Benjamin, one of my books that makes me feel the smartest. So we’re all good.
Also, I’m wearing glasses, which always make me look smarter.
Wait.
I always wear glasses.
:-|
SHIT IT’S NOT WORKING.
Ugh. You guys. I can’t handle this.
Here’s the woman responsible for this mess:
If you would like to be convinced she’s not a nitwit, head over to BCS #137, and scroll down to the comments. “Jake,” who probably hates my guts (but shouldn’t think he’s the only one to feel that way) left some remarks and he has quotes from co-stars, interview transcripts, published interviews, and some other stuff. Check it out. You might be convinced. (I’ll admit, the Jason Bateman quote had me thinking for a minute, and then I was like, …wait a minute. This is Jason Bateman. He’s weird anyway. Awesomely weird, but weird. And probably on something more than half the time when he talks to reporters.)
As for me, I remain entrenched in my views that the closest this girl is ever going to get to a Nobel is if she manages to spell the word out with the letters on her fridge.
Here’s my thing, really: You can say all you want that someone is a genius, that he or she is snarky and witty and high-brow and self-aware and that other people just don’t ‘get’ him or her, but when that person in question can’t even make out any semblance of self-awareness in any printed statement/interview and comes across as an inarticulate, confused, arrogant thing sipping nitwit juice with a crazy straw, what does it matter?
Sure, I’ll be generous here for a second. Megan Fox is a cunning wit, the likes of which we’ve never seen. To quote Mila Kunis, she’s a genius. (Note: That was not all that the lovely Mila had to say about The Great Philosopher. Hah.) Great. I’ll give you that for a moment.
But when she can’t come across that way for a New York second in any of her interviews, and there is such an embarrassing overabundance of ridiculous things she’s said, then…really? REALLY? How far can you reasonably go in reading into her remarks and trying to illuminate the sheer wit and utter gemstone of an insight into the human condition before even the attempt becomes laughable?
Because if she’s so smart and self-aware and funny and brilliant, you’d think that after a couple years of being in the limelight and talking to reporters and TV personalities and all that, she’d at least figure out how to make whatever the hell she says sound better. Smarter. More articulate. Cohesive. WHATEVER.
And take me, for example. I am a phool. I really, really am. You can see it all on here. I yell about nonsensical things and I complain about everything and I make up song parodies and I steal everything I possibly can from my LawSkoolBFF (next up, his soul), and I’m convinced that garden gnomes are out to get me. I’m a complete nut case.
But when it actually matters, I can be eloquent. I can be articulate. I can be politically correct. I can employ sound grammar and usage. I can be intelligent. When it matters, like in a legal motion, or one of the many critical theory essays or literary criticisms I’ve penned, in the English translation of a collection of letters for a biography on Pakistan’s preeminent literary scholar, or in the volume of metaphysical, postmodern short stories I compiled as my thesis, or in a cover letter, or in a toast at a close friend’s wedding, I can come off as someone who not only knows her stuff, but knows how to say it so it translates well.
You’d think that the Great Philosopher wouldn’t have nearly so much trouble figuring out a way to be taken seriously and phrasing those great philosophies of hers in a more articulate, eloquent, politically correct fashion.
You’d think that, wouldn’t you?
Well, I wouldn’t, personally, but it’s well established by now that I am an asshole.
Anyway, moving on, here’s a plus sized version of her pretty outfit. I added a close up of the top so that you could see what’s going on along the neckline.
Ponte Knit Skirt ………. $49.99
Croft and Barrow Nailhead Top in Antique Linen ………. $18.20
Sommer Pumps in Black ………. $22.99
Ethnic Bangle Set in Black and Gold ………. $6.80
(Coat after the jump!)
All right.
I picked a swishy A-line skirt in brown and paired it with a faint beige top with interesting, sparkly nailhead embroidery up top. I added the same black pumps I had in the first BCS featuring this picture, and a black and gold bangle to tie things together.
I did find a purple coat, too, and it looks pretty darn warm. It’s from Nordstrom’s and I bet it’s cozy.
$109.90 at Nordstrom's
And there we have a look kinda-sorta based on the Great Philosopher Megan Fox’s outfit from that movie she’s in with Mickey Rourke.
Keep an eye out for it – it’ll probably be up for a Razzie next year.
…You know, like how Transformers II and Jennifer’s Body are both up for Razzies this year. With her name attached.
:-|
Oh, yeah. I went there.
