The Reasonably Prudent Law Student

So yesterday Andy was telling me that instead of taking his day off (Friday) to travel, see the world, and really find himself, he was going to use it to harass me and make my life miserable. Because Andy is an awful person, inside and out. Except when he gets me nomz because I have a case of the hongrays.

He said he’d harass me on Twitter, Gchat, Facebook, and maybe even comment on my blog. A quadrifecta of abuse. It’s kind of his style. And then he asked me if I kept an eye on my blog searches. I said no. He said maybe I should.

:-|

This made me nervous.

So I took a look at my blog searches for the week, and thought I’d pull up some of the fun ones.Let’s take a look! You know, if you’re not doing anything important. I hate to be a bother.

• “Hoomster is creepy.” I am not. YOUR FACE IS CREEPY, ANDY, SO THERE YEAH TAKE THAT.
• “Bomb in hand.” Oh, dear God. I’m going to get a call from the FBI, aren’t I? What am I talking about? My last name is Rashid. And my dad and brother’s names are Mohammad. Our phones have been bugged since the evening of September 11, 2001. Let’s not lie.
• “3d incest.” :-| In the words of the security guard on South Park, move along, sir.
• “Ho Ho Ho Bottle of Rum.” Well, I don’t really like the POTC franchise, and I’m always talking about how I’m a whore, so the latter is probably it.
• “Toe cleavage.” Hahahaha. That is the worst term ever, isn’t it?
• “Emailing pornographic pictures legal?” HA! I talk way too much about prOn on this site.
• “I like being fat.” I’m not trying to be mean, but that sentence cracked me up. :-P It’s just so matter of fact. Love it.
• “We want modestly dressed superstars.” Well, based on Miley Cyrus and The Great Philosopher Megan Fox and Lady Gaga, no, clearly, we do not. :-P Although, let’s not kid ourselves. The Great Philosopher is not a superstar. She is a surgically enhanced (nose, lips, bewbs, and by some accounts, cheeks, although I don’t see it), glorified piece of ass with a great waxer. Let’s just be honest. And a little crude. Sorry. I just hate that idiot so much.
• “Rail thin & boyish.” This showed up twice. Two people found my blog by typing this into Google. WTF. I don’t get it. I’m not rail thin or boyish. Well, I’m kind of boyish. Personality-wise. Not that I’m a tomboy; I just think like a boy more often than not.
• “Hugh Laurie Look Alike.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YES.
• “Who has swine flu by me?” I did. Glad you visited my blog and were informed.
• “Why is being prude stupid?” HAHAHAHAHA I love this one. I often refer to myself as a very whorish prude. And there’s nothing wrong with being a prude. Do not listen to The Great Philosopher Megan Fox. She knows not of what she speaks.
• “Law student self loathing.” That might as well be the title of this blog.
• “Oh yeah well your mom.” I like your mom jokes. I like your face jokes even better.
• “I want muslims out of uk.” Oh, go fuck yourself. Muslims will be the majority in the UK by 2025, and there are more British WHITE men working in Indian restaurants in LONDON alone than there are British white men working in the top three British industries combined. So suck on that.
• “Incestuous relationships sexual.” How do these people find me?!
• “Vegetable cute.” Vegetables are not cute. They are homely.
• “What size jeans does Megan Fox wear?” WHO GIVES A FUCK.
• “No don’t porn.” Hahaha. Too much porn. There are so many search term entries for porn. These are just some of the funnier ones.
• “Huma Rashid Eyes Lips Face.” o_O
• “Amen same as Ameen.” Yes, it is. :) Good job.
• “Flame around Muhammad’s head.” That was how the Turkish/Persians drew Muhammad (S) on their tapestries. Even though no one is ever supposed to draw Muhammad (S) because you don’t make an icon out of the iconoclast. Remember, we don’t worship him. We just revere him. Also, the flame around his head is similar to a halo in Christianity; a mark that he’s holy and heaven-bound.
• “Does Mackenzie Phillips have any witnesses.” Oh dear God.
• “Skin tight pants on men.” In a word? NO.

Those are probably the best (or most eye-catching) ones. There are also a ton of hits referring to Rachel Berry of Glee, and how to dress like her. Also, tons of people found my blog by searching for Jennifer Aniston and Megan Fox.

So there we have it. That’s kind of interesting, yes? I think it’s interesting.