First of all, let me say that Twilight is the absolute dumbest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life as far as literature goes. I’ve read books 1, 2, and part of 4 for the LOLZ, or so I thought, until I saw that instead of LOLing, I was just flat-out disturbed and offended. I weep for all the young girls (AND MIDDLE AGED WOMEN) that are all obsessed with it. If I find out you like Twilight, your credibility takes a SERIOUS hit, from which you probably will never recover. That’s just the way it is. It’s the same way I feel about anyone that has anything complimentary to say about Sarah Palin, she-devil and deep-thinker that she is.
(This morning, she confused Iraq and Iran during her interview with Hannity. Derrrr. Tina Fey made an awesome joke about how the woman, Lisa Ann, who played Palin in that porn flick, also played Tina in the 30 Rock porn flick, and how of the three of them, Lisa Anna knows the most about foreign policy. HA! Oh, Tina, you’re not giving yourself due credit.)
So in honor of New Moon, which is sure to tear it up at the box offices this week, I ask you: WHAT THE FUCK.
WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE.
STOP IT.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
That being said, KStew and Sparkles Pattinson make a pretty pair. Those kids.
However, KStew’s wig looks like a really, really bad rug. Like, oh, my god, bad.
And check out the man leggings on Sparkles. HA!
Twilight is why #EverythingIsTerrible.
I don’t like Twilight. However, I’ve never seen it. But I’m not interested in watching, either.
I don’t like Twilight. I sat through the first movie to humor my younger sisters-the things we do for family-and I almost slit my own throat. I must now sit through New Moon with my eight and a half months pregnant friend, because I promised her husband that I would humor her until he came home from Iraq. Again, the things you do for family…at least she’s paying for my ticket and popcorn. I think I might order the jumbo sized bucket, an XL soda AND a candy bar…it’s the least I deserve, don’t you think?
That’s the thing, I understand the interest and obsession and do not hate vampire genres or the like .. the fact of the matter is – Stephen King was spot on with his take of Twilight – it’s just POORLY WRITTEN people. It’s not written well. I can’t read shit. And I can’t read novels that are poorly disguised as screenplays: “make me a movie!” .. “look, I’ll make a good movie” .. “buy the rights to me!!”, “I’m as obvious as Grisham and more romantic than Brown.”
Why are people subjecting themselves to reading the poorly written? Why? This is why people buy 8litres of mayo at Costco but never use it and it sits on the shelf in the garage until one day in the summer it just explodes … bc. it wants to kill itself.
People need to strive for more. More in life, more in movies, more in literature, more from politicians, more from themselves. There’s one thing to read something for the escapism and just bc. the last tome you read took you 6 weeks. But Twilight ain’t it. Just. Ain’t.
People can read what they like, I’ll just sit in my lit-snit snob corner and realize it did nothing to advance the written word.
Whew. Sorry for all that, Huma, I just really – finally – need to get that all out.
=)
ROFL.
I gobbled the books up like crazy, but I’m not claiming it as literary genius or anything.
As for the movies, I hate them. With every fibre of my being. With that being said. That picture is making me die of laughter. KStew looks like a crackwhore with an insanely bad weave. What is Sparkles doing with his lips? I think he’s replacing Chuck Bass with that awful pursing.
Ha! This is why you crack me up, Huma. Twilight makes me laugh & I read them all for the LOL/WTF factor. “If I find out…” I’m shaking my head with the laughter. Although, they entertain me more than Megan Fox.
My respect for you has skyrocketed. My roommate and I have taken to shouting at the TV anytime anything Twilight related comes on the screen. Also, they put THOSE PEOPLE on the cover of my Harper’s. I ripped it off so I could enjoy the magazine. Overkill?
Sparkles! Ha. Twilight sucks. And yes, I read them all just to make sure of it. :P And I was dumbfounded by how awful it got with every novel. The best thing that came out of it was Stephen King having the chance to take a swipe at her ass and let her know what a bad writer she is. Total freaking win.