The Reasonably Prudent Law Student

Take that, Travel & Leisure, who just named Chicago’s Harold Washington Public Library the 4th ugliest building in the world. Naturally, I take offense to this ‘honor’ because I am a Chicagoan. And because I am ridiculously high-strung.

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My law school is located right next to the Harold Washington library. All that separates us is a little park where hobos sleep. When I go on my daily stroll around Chicago’s South Loop (I go for many strolls, and am often accosted on the street, but it’s okay, because usually it’s just Andy and he’s whatever and we just combine our strolling powers, and other times I just run), I often stroll past the Harold Washington Library.

It’s not exactly pretty. Part of the perimeter smells like pee. There’s this little crack in the sidewalk where I always catch my foot because I am so klutzy, Stephanie Meyers could write a whole terrible franchise about me. There is also this one dirty puddle on the perimeter that I don’t like because it’s dirty and it’s a puddle, and I don’t like dirty puddles.

Also, there are these archaic mint green gargoyles on the four corners of the roof, and they contrast hideously with the reddish brick (these colors don’t just clash; they wage all-out war), and I hate them because a part of me still thinks that the gargoyles are going to come to life and chase me and sup on my brains.

:-|

I am 23.25 years old and part of me STILL legitimately believes this. I even believe this of the two statues that stand in the little courtyard at the Chicago Board of Trade, and they’re quite matronly and resemble the Statue of Liberty! And I STILL feel like they’re going to chase me and claw my eyes out because they house evil the likes of which man has never before seen.

And do you know WHY I harbor such paranoid thoughts about statues? It’s all because of this man. They call him 10. The ones that work blue (I’m looking at you, Billie Piper) call him 10inch. He is…The Doctor.

Don’t blink. Don’t even blink. Blink and you’re dead! They are fast, faster than you could believe. Don’t turn your back, don’t look away, and don’t blink. Good luck.

God damn you, Doctor, for making me fear statues so.

If you haven’t seen this episode (and you don’t have to be familiar with the whole series to watch this; just know that the Doctor is a Time Lord, meaning he zips around in time with a human companion and fights aliens and befriends other aliens and saves the day) then search for it on Youtube. It’s all up there. “Blink” is widely regarded to be one of the best Doctor Who episodes of David Tennant’s career as 10, and among the best in the whole series, which has been running since the 60s.

Anyway.

What was I talking about?

Oh, yeah. I don’t care if the Harold Washington Library isn’t pretty. DON’T MESS WITH CHICAGO.

I’m feeling very territorial this morning.

Also, those freaking gargoyles won’t stop staring at me. :( I’ll just close the blinds, I think…

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Don’t blink, don’t even blink…

Okay, I’ll stop now.