That’s right, I, your beloved Hoomster, the most prudent law student of them all, drinker of all things root beer, have swine flu. Totally nuts. I still can’t believe I have swine flu. Who gets swine flu anymore? That’s, like, so three months ago.
So yes. My pal Sue came in from Texas over the weekend – Friday, really – and I was supposed to have lunch with her, but I got all feverish and gross right before ConLaw, so as soon as class was over, I ran to Walgreen’s for pills. Once I’d proved I was over 18, I ran to Michigan Ave to have lunch with her.
I was feeling much better at that point, but I was still coughing and being gross. But we had a great time. Then Andy showed up, and scolded me for wearing my down jacket when it was, like, 55 degrees out and he was wearing just a cable-knit over a button-down, but I was like, whatever, turd, I have a sore throat and I’m not taking chances, and then he was like, yeah, I’ve been feeling like crap, too, you probably gave me something.
TURNS OUT I PROBABLY GAVE HIM SWINE FLU.
I’m, like, the worst friend ever. Why I gotta do my boy like that? These are the tough questions, folks; if I don’t ask them (of myself), who will?
Here’s a picture of me and Andy being swine-flu-y. He says it sums up our relationship perfectly. I take that to mean that he understands that he’s always got his arms folded and I’m always disinterested.
I mean, what else could he mean by that? Right? R-right?
We are so swine-flu-y. Gross.
So I spent most of the weekend slowly dying, and then I was told I had swine flu, and that I couldn’t go back to class until Thursday. This is just perfect, you guys. Fall semester of 1L, I caught strep. I got it from Perry, who sucks. only he doesn’t, because he’s kind of ridiculously awesome and totally my boy. And anyway, I retaliated by passing the strep on to Andy. I pay it forward like that. And now, fall semester of 2L, I get swine flu.
This could really only happen to me.
What will happen to me around this time next year? Will I grow a foot out of my head? Let’s stay tuned.