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The Great Ginger-Midget Twitter War of 2010

February 9, 2010 by humarashid

Gather ’round, children. It’s high time I told you of the great, historic Ginger-Midget Twitter War of Twenty-Ten, in which I was in the front lines, battling bravely against a stupid ginger named Bob Blah Blawg.

>:(

Oh, how I loathe him, children. Yes, you might have heard that he’s been my best friend here for almost two years. This does not matter. Nor does it keep me from really, really hating that boy.

It all started, as most things do, on an instant messaging client. And really, it all started (that night; we had been fighting about gingers for some time, ever since he said something mean to me and I outed him on Twitter for being a ginge) with this tweet:

From there, the brewing tensions advanced to the realm of Gchat, where the warning shots were fired and the two sides clashed for the first time. Well. Not really the first time. They’d been arguing about one party being a ginger for quite some time. That party refused to sign the Yes I Am A Ginger Because I Am Scottish And Have A Red Beard And/Or Am At Least 70% Daywalker Treaty, so, really, a full-fledged war was inevitable with this much tension and such high stakes.

We were discussing Paul having spotted us as he walked to his law school (which is right across the street from ours, quite literally) and Andy wondered how Paul recognized us. I said we had pictures up on Twitter, where, unbeknownst to us at the time, the majority of the battle would be fought.

The parties refused to surrender their deeply held convictions revolving around the clearly, visibly apparent gingerhood of one Bob Blah Blawg.

The parties allowed each other one last opportunity to settle. It fell on two pairs of deaf ears, as these things often do.

And then the threats got ugly, dear children, and it was declared that the two parties would go to war to defend their honor. And decide, once and for all, the time-honored question that has led generations upon generations into fierce, unrelenting battle: Is so-and-so a soul-less Ginger?

And then, as we said in my time, children, it was on. Oh, IT WAS SO ON.

>:(

The battle formations and war tactics are difficult to follow, but I’ve done my best to diagram them so that you can follow along as we trace our way through this epic battle that lasted long into the night. Thankfully, it was a mini-weeknight, since neither party had law school the next day because the ginger-party had been brilliant in scheduling and discovered that, if we both transferred into the 9AM Corporations class, we could have TWO days off per week instead of only one.

Sometimes, that Blah fellow did good, children.

Here are some of the exciting scenes from the battle.

Here, the fool brings in reinforcements. In the first stages of the battle. WHO DOES THAT? Well, he does, duh. That’s what I just wrote two sentences ago. Can’t you read? WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON A BLOG IF YOU CAN’T READ?

Click to see what I linked to.

Then, children, the local villagers joined in.

At this point, dear children, some of the local villagers became angry that this war was taking place so near their humble little homes.

And, as in most wars, there were communication difficulties. You’re gonna have that when you’re really down in the trenches, children. This isn’t like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, after all.

(CALL OF DUTY!! YEAHHH!!)

(Although, really, I’m more of a Counterstrike girl.)

See, what happened was that the other side sent out a dispatch, but I ran away from the carrier pigeon because I hate pigeons because they are germy, and I didn’t immediately see that he’d sent me a message, so I sent one of my own. That explains this exchange:

Then, I finally caught up to the germy carrier pigeon and saw his earlier message, prompting my reply. And then his simultaneous reply. Our signals were crossed for a bit, but we eventually ironed it all out.

I felt a critical impasse had been reached, and that I had been the one to cross it and, in doing so, emerge victorious. I decided to let Twitter be privy to my thoughts on the matter.

But the Great Scot (ha, see what I did there? Of course you did), proving that he knew nothing of the Geneva Conventions and related treatises (treatii, really), decided to declare victory after I had already done so.

And, since he was being a turd and refusing to honor my declaration of victory, I decided to address him post-battle in a manner befitting two civilized and dignified statesmen.

:-|

You guys.

I mean, children.

:-|

From there, the discussion turned to popular support for the war effort, and which party won out in that regard. I maintained that it was I who won, for, well, obvious reasons.

*hair flip*

I mean, come on.

He did not take kindly to being called a red-headed stepchild.

That was kind of a surprise, I admit, because I had rather assumed he would. Take kindly to it, that is.

Despite the post-war pot-shot I took, tensions didn’t bubble up again. In fact, sweater puppies dissolved the tension, as they often do.

But not for very long.

Such is the blessing and the curse of sweater puppies, for this happened later that night. Or, I guess, earlier that morning.

That’s right. He actually had the NERVE to say we were beefing. After his rampant, galloping suckitude and dirty tricks in a time of war.

>:(

As always, I attempted to be the rational party. And to use Latin. I spent a crapload of time studying it in college; I might as well use it, right?

And that was how the Great Ginger-Midget Twitter War of 2010 concluded, with my being awarded a reluctant victory. Or so I thought.

The next day, it became apparent that the losing party was still harboring residual bloodlust. Residual bloodlust would be a great name for a hair metal band. File it away, folks. File it away for a later day.

Things were quiet – and suspiciously so – on the Western front, so I sent up this flare over No Man’s Land to see how things were.

Okay, so I technically wasn’t sending up a flare.

I was technically sitting on a ladder in the middle of No Man’s Land, smoking endless cigarettes while wearing a luminous balaclava.

Same difference, you guys. Jeez. Semantics.

He Who Has Been Established to be a Ginger replied with this:

:-|

How could I let that stand?

Spoiler alert: I couldn’t.

He REALLY needs to learn not to give me openings like that.

Then things got dirty.

Here’s what he linked to:

Turd.

So, not to be outdone…

Here’s what I linked to:

This followed:

With this linked to:

And then this followed:

With this linked to:

There was no response from the other party, so, naturally, I assumed I had won again, even though I had already won the night before, and even though I hadn’t received formal confirmation of this, on account of the other party being a turd.

…Or so I thought. Again.

You see, children, sometimes, when you know you won, but other people won’t admit it because they are turds, and you think you’ll never taste the sweet satisfaction of a proper OMG YOU ARE RIGHT win, life has a way of surprising you.

This happened the following night. Or maybe the following-following night.

I love being handed things on a platter.

And that really is the best note for the Great Ginger-Midget Twitter War of 2010 to end on, you guys: Meh.

As long as we are all aware that Bob Blah Blawg is a ginger.

:-D

Posted in Eustace, Law Skool BFF | Leave a Comment »

Business Casual Superstar #146: Plus Sized Professional: Inspired by Lily Aldrin of “How I Met Your Mother”

February 9, 2010 by humarashid

Back with yet another Lily Aldrin look! The last time we talked about Lily Aldrin of “How I Met Your Mother,” I ended up hijacking my own post and using it to promote myself as a new possible companion for the Doctor. I totally promise not to do that again, you guys.

Seriously.

Instead, let’s just take a look at a picture of sweet, adorable Lily so we can get a better sense of her bold, bright style.

:-O

Oh, no, you guys! You guys, oh, no!

How did that get there?! A picture of me gazing dreamily (creepily?) up at the Doctor, as if to say, Oh, Doctor, you so crazy, but I’m your awesome companion, so I’m well used to it and totally able to handle it?

Ugh.

Well.

I’m not sure how it got there, you guys, but I’m totally going to get to the bottom of this. And if I find out who put it there? I am writing a letter. A stern one.

:-|

Anyway, here’s Lily Aldrin being awesome in a printed blue dress.

THERE.

Anyway, we’ve seen this picture before. I used it in the original post about Lily Aldrin. So here’s a picture of an outfit inspired by this ensemble, coming in at under $100.

:-O

ALL RIGHT WHO PUT THAT PICTURE THERE?! Who put THAT picture (which you can click on to enlarge) THERE?

I DEMAND TO KNOW THIS! IT’S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE, YOU GUYS! WHO PUT IT THERE?!

I mean, it would have to be some random jerk, who was good at computers, and knew how to hack into blog posts, and wanted to drive me crazy, and was also smart enough to know that I’d make an awesome companion to the Doctor and as such is kinda awesome, but that’s neither here nor there.

This is a serious, dignified blog, you guys, where we discuss serious, dignified, life-changing things and the crucial goings-on of our times, and these departures from that are unacceptable and make me mad enough to just – to just – set fire to things, and also maybe hop a plane to England and attend a couple casting sessions.

Yeah.

This makes me that mad.

:-|

So you guys better just watch it, okay? And can we please TRY to just get to the outfit already? Because I’d appreciate that. I really would. Yeah.

(THAT WASN’T SO HARD, WAS IT?)

…

(THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.)

Printed Flirtacious Dress in Black Feather ………. $44.50
Pierre Dumas Pump in Black ………. $30
Heart Trim Necklace ………. $7.80

Okay, good, we’ve made it this far.

I picked a blue and black dress with a pretty pattern, a pair of black pumps, since I couldn’t very well go with brown like in the first Lily post, and a long chain necklace.

Phew! Post over, we did it.

I was afraid that another crazy promo picture would pop up.

Puh! How embarrassing would that be? Am I right?

…You guys?

:-|

Posted in Business Casual Superstar | Tagged , | Leave a Comment »

Stupid $hit I’m Reading: Woman Wants to Undergo Surgery to Resemble Jessica Alba

February 8, 2010 by humarashid

So it’s been Doppelganger Week on Facebook for some time; that’s why you’ve seen your friends’ pictures replaced with images of Chris Pine and Zooey Deschanel and Laura Prepon. (In related news, ZOMG, my friend Brittany from high school TOTALLY looks like Laura Prepon and always has, you guys!)

If you follow me on Facebook (or, really, if you look at the sidebar and scroll down) you’ll notice that my Facebook picture is currently one of Mila Kunis.

My pal Carla has always insisted I looked like Mila. I never, ever saw it. When I polled my friends a week ago to see who I should put up, I got Aishwarya Rai (Nate cited my big-ish eyes, high forehead, and full lips), Anne Hathaway, that chick that plays Bianca on “All My Children,” and, the front-runner at the time, Queen Rania.

Now, I don’t particularly care for Aishwarya Rai. I don’t mind her, but I just don’t care for her. She’s there, she’s beautiful, good for her. But I don’t watch Bollywood movies, I’ve seen like two minutes of one starring her and even then, that was only in my Multicultural Literature class in college. Plus, my BFF looks exactly like her. Well, it’s a toss between Aishwarya and Angelina Jolie. Although lately, as we’ve grown older, she’s started resembling Keira Knightley. Apparently everyone tells her that, and I never would have seen it in a million years had my little brother not suggested it on his own.

So whatever, Aish was out. I really don’t see the Anne Hathaway resemblance. She’s a gorgeous girl, and there’s no way I resemble her. I think, if anything, what makes people suggest a similarity is either the shape of the forehead, or the cut of the jaw. Other than that, I’m completely out of ideas.

That soap opera chick is way too delicate and petite for us to resemble each other, and there’s no way I look like Queen Rania, who has made many appearances here. Besides, my pal Joy looks JUST like Rania. She eventually went with Maria Menounos, and while I think the resemblance is clear from many angles, I still maintain that overall, she is a dead ringer for Rania. So I’d pick Rania for Joy before I’d pick her for myself. Long before. Just such a stunning woman.

But when I recalled that Carla always used to say I looked like Mila Kunis, my Twitter feed fairly erupted with tweets chiming in with agreement. I still didn’t see it. At all. So I got a picture of Mila wearing glasses, to see if it would fit together then, and I kind of saw it.

:-O

And I was tickled. I’ll admit it. Mila Kunis is beyond gorgeous, and I’ve always liked her tremendously. So if I’m told I look like a brown Mila Kunis, puh, who am I to complain?!

But for every little running joke, for every meme, there’s always the idiot that takes it way too far.

Today’s Stupid $h!t I’m Reading: Woman to Undergo Plastic Surgery to Look Like Jessica Alba.

Basically, this chick is 21 and had a 28 year old boyfriend of two years, roughly. He’s obsessed with Jessica Alba and had tons of pictures of her up at their house, and he bought her a blonde wig and made her wear it along with fake eyelashes so she’d look more like him. Then one day a bunch of people were laughing and mocking this chick, let’s call her X, because of her wig and eyelashes, so she took off her wig and threw it down all dramatically like something out of America’s collective fantasy regarding Kim Zolciak and broke up with the dude.

But she regretted breaking up with him, and now is going to get all this surgery so she can look like Alba and win him back. She said some crap about not being very strong psychologically and using this surgery and her knew look to be stronger, some metamorphosis shit like that minus the giant cockroaches.

Or, not. Eh. Your call, depending on how uncharitable you want to be about this story.

As for me, I’m pretty uncharitable in general.

So, naturally, Eustace has gotten out his little pom-poms and created a whole cheering section for this genius, because he thinks this is a brilliant idea. Devotees will remember that Eustace is what I have named my ulcer.

Reasons why this sucks:

  • Jessica Alba is beautiful (and would be more beautiful if she smiled more often) but she’s not the end-all-be-all of feminine beauty. That doesn’t exist. Talk about a wild goose chase!
  • X, you are TWENTY ONE DAMN YEARS OLD. There is no reason to get elective cosmetic surgery at that age. NOT A SINGLE ONE.
  • Someone who describes herself as ‘psychologically weak’ has even LESS of a reason to get elective cosmetic surgery. I’m sorry, do I need to talk about Heidi Montag? Please say no, because I can’t stand that famewhore.
  • This chick is pretty as she is.
  • If your boyfriend is so crazy-obsessed with Jessica Alba, LET HIM BE. He’s never going to have her anyway. Let that loser sit in the dark and cry about it while you move on with your life and find someone that thinks you’re beautiful the way you are. DON’T ENCOURAGE HIS IDIOCY BY REINFORCING IT WITH PLASTIC SURGERY GOD.
  • Everything is terrible.

Okay, so the last one doesn’t specifically answer to why this sucks. It’s more of a general statement. And it’s true: everything totally sucks.

I kind of wish I knew what this girl was thinking. So I could talk her out of it. And also because I’m just really, really curious what would have to go through your head to make you even joke about doing this, much less actually doing it.

Maybe I’m kind of glossing over everything and making it too simple. I don’t know what it’s like to be desperately in love with someone to the point that I’d consider something this dramatic. As X has said, she’s just that desperate to get him back. And I’m probably simplifying things because I’ve never had to change myself in any kind of meaningful way for someone else, and I guess I must be pretty selfish, because I can’t imagine doing so.

I mean, I don’t think there’s anything too horrible about me. I went through a phase a year ago where I just shopped A LOT. A lot, a lot. But once I realized what I was doing, I stopped. I did that for me, but I’d do it for someone else, too, just because I realize that it’s a terrible habit that needs to be changed.

Things like that, bad habits, I have no problem changing, for myself or anyone else. But things more character-based, things that define who I am…I’d never change that. Never even consider it. And certainly not for some dumb boy.

It’s what I remember telling one of my friends shortly before she got married to this guy I wasn’t all that crazy about: You can change habits, but you can’t change people.

See? Sometimes I’m insightful.

And then, when I realize I’m being insightful, I go back to yelling at garden gnomes, because a girl like me only gets so many moments of insightfulness per year, and I wouldn’t want to use up my entire annual allotment in one go.

But, yeah. Change your habits for someone, that’s cool. Quit smoking. Stop biting your nails. Drink less. That’s great.

But there’s no need to change who you are for anyone. All that’s going to happen is that you’re going to be miserable and you’re going to resent the person who you professed to change yourself for. I’m hardly saying anything revolutionary or life-changing; this is the same trite garbage you can find in any self-help book and any lame-o episode of Dr. Phil or Oprah.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not still true.

And that’s why things like this make me so sad. I just can’t imagine anyone wanting to change themselves so dramatically for someone else, someone who didn’t seem to appreciate them all that much in the first place.

Kudos to Jessica Alba for hearing about this story and urging X not to go through with it.

Posted in Eustace | 2 Comments »

Business Casual Superstar #145: Rebecca Bloomwood (Isla Fisher) from “Confessions of a Shopaholic”

February 8, 2010 by humarashid

I don’t watch chick flicks very often, you guys. But every 2-3 years, I go through a phase where I just sit down and watch 2-3 over the course of a couple months. Like, in 2009, I watched “He’s Just Not That Into You.” I hadn’t watched a chick flick before that since…Keira Knightley’s “Pride and Prejudice” came out. I was due.

What do you guys want from me? Jeez.

Anyway, I hadn’t watched a girly movie since HJNTIY, and I had 1-2 left in my allotment, and I recently became addicted to watching Netflix movies through my brother’s Playstation 3, so I sat down and watched “Confessions of a Shopaholic” starring Isla Fisher and Hugh Dancy.

God, is Hugh Dancy adorable, you guys. But he’s with Claire Danes, who I despise, so, whatever. That costs him major Hotness points.

I watched CoaS with my little brother, who didn’t want to do his homework and we ripped on it throughout the whole movie. It’s not the greatest movie, you guys. Every five minutes, pretty much like clockwork, me and the Bro would burst into laughter and look at each other and shriek, WHO WROTE THIS CRAP?!

Well, I was shrieking. He was mostly just laughing.

It’s just a poorly done movie, really. Almost everything about it is mildly awful. I will admit that the thing that bothered me the most was their horribly misinformed portrayal of the debtor-creditor relationship. The whole time, I was screaming, CREDITORS CAN’T HARASS YOU LIKE THAT. Also, the scenes with the Shopaholics Anonymous were pretty damn ridiculous and just laughably bad. Laughably, you guys.

But Isla Fisher is sooooo cute, and she looked great throughout the whole movie. So while I was watching it, I admit it, I was mainly just keeping an eye on her clothes. Because everything else was so terrible.

Becky wears lots of bright colors in amazing fabrics, and she particularly loves pink. (Surprise, surprise, a girly-girl that’s totally into shopping and fashion, likes pink. Sadly enough, that was not the most trite thing about the movie.) To see what I mean, check out the movie poster.

And here’s what I came up with.

Poplin Pencil Skirt in Rose Quartz ………. $12.99
The Sash in Grass ………. $16
High Rib Ballet Sweater in Neon Pink ………. $9.99
Ralph Lauren Amaya Suede Pumps in Camel ………. $44.99

There we are!

I picked a pencil skirt and paired it with this bright pink ballet sweater from The Limited. I’ve gotten a bunch of sweaters from the Limited (all on sale for $10, thank you very much) and they’re very warm and very soft. Very, very soft. I just love them!

Anyway, I found a green sash at American Apparel (home of unexpected sweater puppies; their ad campaign needs to be revamped because it’s way too skeezy, a point that the LawSkoolBFF and I cannot agree on no matter how hard I try to convince him that he’s just a dumb boy). I went with these Ralph Lauren suede pumps because they’re just lovely, and there we have it: one of Becky Bloomwood’s outfits from “Confessions of a Shopaholic.”

…Don’t watch the movie, you guys.

Seriously.

It was awful.

Posted in Business Casual Superstar | Tagged | 1 Comment »

Misogyny runs rampant at the Big Game.

February 7, 2010 by humarashid

Who else watched the Super Bowl? Yeah, I have a brother, so obviously, I did. My dad and Bro were totally rooting for the Saints. My brother was doing so because the Saints were undefeated all season and were a good team who were coached very well and came from a great city. Black and gold, baby! My dad was doing so because he liked the name “Saints” better than what you call little horsies.

:-|

Anyway, who else saw the Super Bowl ads? And was bowled over by the rampant, glaring misogyny?

My pal Ray Beckerman said that he had to figure that the Superbowl ads in question were dreamt up by yuppie men who thought they were superior to the men they THOUGHT they were targeting. An interesting take.

I would write a whole long thing and yell and flick spittle on my screen and then pause to take my heartburn medication (because the anger would have aged me prematurely) but I don’t want to do that. I’m watching American Dad, I’m eating a bunch of fresh, chocolate covered strawberries, I’m wearing my fuzzy pink bathrobe backwards  (yes, like a goddamn Snuggie), and it’s just too nice a night to ruin with galloping, spittle-flicking anger.

Also, Jezebel already put something up, so anything I did would just be overkill. Click the picture to head on over.

Posted in Eustace, current events | Leave a Comment »

A Week In Retrospect: Blog Searches

February 7, 2010 by humarashid

Oh, God, you guys. My brother is watching the Death Note commentary. Let me be clear: I love Death Note. I think it’s unabashedly, unapologetically brilliant. But I hate commentaries. Except Arrested Development commentaries.

So, since he’s being  a turd and watching this, I’ll do my blog searches. I bet you guys love these posts as much as I love commentaries. Well, tough noogies. Yes, I said noogies.

  • Rate My Sweater Puppies - No, thank you. Please don’t  rate mine, either.
  • Did Hoomster steal Business Casual Superstar - I already explained this. Yes. I did. I stole it from my LawSkoolBFF. He came up with it, published it in a tweet, I pinched it, AND GAVE HIM CREDIT REPEATEDLY. But apparently he can’t get over it, because he’s a little girl. In a little dress. With little pigtails. And little saddle shoes.
  • Hoomster left a mess in my house - I did not. I am a sophisticated, dignified lady. How dare you.
  • How many Hoomsters can be ready for battle – as many as are necessary. We are a war-hungry people.
  • Is Hoomster really an alien – Clearly, the blog searches have been compromised by my dear BFF. He is a turd. That is why I will not even bother to answer this question and tell you what you already know, that, yes, beyond a doubt, absolutely, I am an alien.
  • Is the Hajj safe? – Eh. There are tramplings every year, pretty much. But Hajj officials do an excellent job keeping everyone safe considering that millions upon millions of Muslims perform the Hajj every year. Hats off to them.

  • Why are female friendship so complicated? – Female-female friendships, or female-male friendships? Little Puppy, is that you? Well, regardless, female-female friendships have crazy dynamics. You’ve got your best friends, your good friends, your frenemies, your social butterfly friends that you only use for connections, your fairweather friends that are bitches one day and cool the next that you don’t really take seriously (if you’re smart), and so on. As for female-male friendships…I don’t really know what to say. None of my friendships with guys have been complicated. They’ve just kind of…been? Eh. That was my Dr. Phil schpiel of the day. Probably not. There’s probably more to come. But whatever. Stay tuned!
  • Hugh Laurie Prince George - You are welcome. This is one of my favorites, though. I gave my Blackadder DVDs to the LawSkoolBFF, along with my Arrested Development DVDs, so he could experience the magic. He loved AD, duh, but he tried to return Blackadder to me without watching it, and Perry and I just glared at him and I was like NO DAMMIT I WON’T ACCEPT THEM UNTIL YOU WATCH THEM. ALL OF THEM. AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH. A GOOD ONE, NONE OF THIS LIVERWURST CRAP. Then he said okay and scuttled off, and a month passed and he came back with the DVDs and said he just couldn’t get into it AT ALL and quit, like, one episode into Season 1 or something, and, oh, how Perry and I glared. :-|

  • Huma rani – That’s me! :-D That’s what my G-ma (Papa Hoomster’s Mama) used to call me when I was little. Frankly, I think it needs to make a comeback like five minutes ago.

  • Grace of C in law school – Eh. Even if you do get a C or two, just remember, C = JD. You still get credit for the course, you can still sit for the Barzam (obviously), and you’ll be fine. Try to get that GPA up, and get involved in other things, like law societies and journals and clinics and all that, and when you go for interviews, remember to really sell your personality. Firms are looking for grades, but they’re also looking for people who can, you know, actually deal with other people. People who can talk and joke and be friendly and charming. Sure, a C might be the same as an F in law school, but it’s not the end of the world, either. Also, look back at this post, and remember to chill.
  • Hijab Wedding Dresses – I don’t know anything about this. But it reminds me of this post at the Hijablog.
  • “JD” crazy – Why, yes. I agree with this assessment. :-|
  • Huma Rashid Karl Rove – Check it here, nerds.

  • Megan Fox looks fake – That’s because she’s had her nose shaved down, had cheek implants put in, possibly breast implants, and had her lips jacked up ridiculously (fairly recently).
  • I did something stupid/funny - sounds like what I say every time Mama Hoomster asks me what I did today.
  • Megan nose - she had it shaved down.
  • Ugliest student – HAY THAT’S NOT NICE I AM NOT. >:(
  • The extremely prudent law student – Whoa, whoa. I appreciate the sentiment, but let’s not get carried away. I could never be called extremely prudent. Even the whole reasonably prudent thing is a lie. A well constructed tapestry of LIES.
  • Martin Redish Forbes - I got a lot of hits off this one, relating to the blog post I did about his article in Forbes. A “Martin Redish” commented on it and thanked me for saying he had a nice haircut, but I refuse to believe it was the real Redish. It was probably that phool Andy, trying to mess with me. HE IS ALWAYS TRYING TO MESS WITH ME YOU GUYS.

Oh, phew, thank God. My brother turned off the Yu Yu Hakusho commentaries. (Yes, he’d moved on to Yu Yu Hakusho.) This means I can stop sticking my fingers in my ear and singing LALALALA.

Good thing, too, because it’s hard to type like that.

Posted in Site - About | 1 Comment »

Business Casual Superstar #144: Inspired by Serena Van Der Something from “Gossip Girl”

February 7, 2010 by humarashid

I don’t really watch Gossip Girl, but I do like Blake Lively. She’s tall, pretty, and is allergic to pants. I always like looking at gossip blogs the day after a big movie premiere because I want to see what Blake Lively wore. Remember when it was twenty degrees in New York the night of the “Sherlock Holmes” premiere? Yeah, Blake definitely wore this:

I love it.

She’s cute as a button, you never see her stumbling out of Chateau Marmont with her knickers around her ankles, she doesn’t say stupid sh!t in interviews, and she dresses exactly like a hot 23-year old starlet with great legs and sweater puppies and hair would dress.

(She’s not my role model by any means, but I just kind of like her. You know, for someone who’s just there.)

Here’s a picture of her wearing something on her show, which is also kind of just there.

And here’s a work-appropriate version that also doubles as a covered-up look for our modern Muslimahs!

I’m all about the multi-tasking, you guys.

Extended Hip Knit Cardigan ………. $17.80
Solid Shirt in White ………. $14.99
ASOS Skinny Leather Look Tie ………. $11.90
Black Trousers ………. $15
Patent Look Flats in Black ………. $14.99
Textured Patent Hobo in Red ………. $19.99

Black pants and a button-down under a striped cardigan with a sort of draped effect, paired with black flats and a bright red bag.

It doesn’t get much simpler than that. There’s really nothing else to say. And I should know, because I can make up crap to say about anything.

One of the hazards of being an English major…one that’s majorly into critical theory.

(Critical theory is about nothing, you guys. THIS IS WHY IT WINS.)

Posted in Business Casual Superstar | Tagged , | 1 Comment »

Business Casual Superstar #143: Inspired by Blaire Waldorf

February 6, 2010 by humarashid

I’ve put up a couple Blaire Waldorf outfits here in the past, and what can I say? She’s popular. I try to pick outfits that are a bit more simple, a little more accessible than Blaire’s usual high-fashion fare. But I got a request for this specific one, so who am I to refuse?

If you’ve got the confidence to wear something like this (I don’t), then take a look at what I put together:

Snakeskin Pencil Skirt ………. $27.99
Textured Tank ………. $23.70
Side Pocket Cardigan ………. $20.40
Textured Link Headband ………. $8.99
Cadle Clutch in Gold ………. $14.98

I picked a brown and beige skirt, paired it with a dark gold top, and threw on a bright yellow cardigan. I mean, really, isn’t that bright? I feel like I should get out my sunglasses. I don’t like to do that, though, because my sunglasses make me look like a bug.

The headband was easy enough to come by, and I added a beige clutch. Throw on a pair of brown pumps and you’re good to go…provided you have the mettle to wear this monochromatic ensemble.

(Again, I do not. Just in case you were wondering.)

(I know you were.)

(You always are.)

(Because you’re nosy.)

(…You should work on that.)

Posted in Business Casual Superstar | Tagged | 2 Comments »

Business Casual Superstar #142: Lily Aldrin of “How I Met Your Mother”

February 5, 2010 by humarashid

I’m a huge fan of the CBS comedy, “How I Met Your Mother,” which my pal Brian aptly calls “the last great sitcom.” It stars Neil Patrick Harris, Cobie Smulders (gorgeous), Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, and Alyson Hannigan, who you might remember from Buffy.

Alyson plays Lily Aldrin-Erikson, who is married to Jason Segel’s character. She’s a kindergarten teacher, a painter, and absolutely adorable. Her style is interesting, too: she wears lots of bright colors in different patterns, and when she’s not wearing bright colors, she’s still wearing the crazy patterns. Sometimes she looks like a kaleidoscope pattern, but she usually does quite well. Hers is a distinctive style perfectly suited for her boisterous, slightly insane, bubbly character.

Here she is with her friend Robin Scherbatsky, played by Cobie Smulders.

See what I mean about the patterns?

I generally stay away from patterns – the most ‘pattern-based’ thing you’ll see me wear is a chunky cable-knit. But Lily rocks them pretty well most of the time, so here’s an office-appropriate look she’s inspired.

Apt 09 Geometric Dress ………. $34.99
Sam & Libby Embossed Croco Pump in Black ………. $39.99
Kirra 3 Row Necklace ………. $8.50

Apt 09, a Kohl’s line, features a lot of patterned pieces, so I knew to go straight there for a printed dress that wouldn’t look too tacky or kaleidoscope-y. (Technical term.) This one is bright and bold with the turquoise and the interesting blocky design.

I went with a pair of ankle-strap crocodile pumps in black. You’ll notice the heel isn’t that high at all, and it’s stacked. Lily’s a kindergarten teacher, after all, so I figured shorter heels were more appropriate. Of course, Lily wears stilettos in her classroom, though. But what do you want from her? It’s a TV show. It’s not real. God. I can’t believe you guys thought it was real. You probably think that there’s a blue police phone box zooming around in the cosmos, carrying a spikey-haired British boy in orange Chuck Taylors who is probably always on crack given how fast he talks and how spastic he is.

…God, I wish there was a blue police phone box zooming around in the cosmos, carrying a spikey-haired British boy in orange Chuck Taylors who is probably always on crack given how fast he talks and how spastic he is. It would probably make my life.

:-|

DOCTOR! Pick me as your next companion! I can be equally spastic! I’m small, and wouldn’t take up much space in the Tardis! I’ve always wanted to visit the Shadow Proclamation and hang out with the Ood! Pick me, damn it!

He won’t pick me.

>:(

So I guess that means I’m stuck here with you guys, explaining things that need no explanation because they are CLOTHES as Anne as the nose on Plain’s face, but I explain them anyway because I feel guilty just putting up links and leaving you, like I was putting money on the dresser and getting the heck out of Dodge.

Whatever.

Cute dress, cute shoes, and a weird necklace because Lily likes her bling. And there we have it!

Psssst….Doctor. Before you zoom off with your current companion, just consider this:

THE PROMOTIONAL PICTURES COULD BE AWESOME.

THINK OF THE PROMOS, DAMN IT!

…Why won’t you think of the promos?

:’-(

Posted in Business Casual Superstar | Tagged | 2 Comments »

This has nothing to do with anything.

February 4, 2010 by humarashid

You know what really gets my goat?

(Yes, I have a goat. Doesn’t everyone?)

Observe the following exchange, and you’ll get the idea.

Friend De Hoomster: Oh, no! Hoomster!

Hoomster: Oh, no! What?

Friend De Hoomster: My foot fell off!

Hoomster: Oh, no! Your foot fell off!

Friend De Hoomster: Oh, no!

Hoomster: Here’s an old, tried and true Asian remedy. Get some crazy glue. Put it on your foot. Then put your foot back on. Works like a charm. It’s what I always do whenever my foot falls off, and my foot hasn’t fallen off in YEARS.

Friend De Hoomster: I ran out of crazy glue. And I don’t want to go out right now and get some more.

Hoomster: …

Friend De Hoomster: Oh, no!

Hoomster: …

Friend De Hoomster: …

If you do this to me, do you know why I stop talking to you? Because you came to me with a problem, I offered you a wonderful solution, and you decided not to take it. Yet you still want to talk about your problem.

…

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? GOD!

This is one of the many ways that I’m actually a boy-girl, ie, a girl that totally thinks like a boy. I’ll vent with you and sympathize, but there’s a limit. If I have a solution, I’m offering it to you. If you don’t respond to it in any productive way, I am walking away from you, because you are an idiot and you make my blood boil.

Ugh.

I really am such a boy sometimes.

Posted in Eustace, My Life and Meh Times | 2 Comments »

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